Monday, November 24, 2008

i am my mother's daughter

today was the president's secretary's birthday. in celebration, my coworkers did a surprise birthday thing for her. it's actually going on right now, but clearly, instead of socializing, i'm sitting at my desk, writing a blog post. why? because i am my mother's daughter. my mother is the essence of anti-social behavior. she doesn't like small talk, nor is she overly friendly with strangers. somehow this has rubbed off onto me. it leaves me being awkward and really shy. the awkwardness is something that i've learned to own over the past couple of years. people from my alma mater are proud of their awkward cahracter, and embrace it as a key personality trait. the shy part is a hard one. most people don't know and don't believe that i am shy. when i say i am, people laugh...there's an awkward pause...then they ask me if i'm serious. yess, i am. i don't know where it comes from, but i have a difficult time talking to strangers and people who i don't know well. this made the birthday celebration quite uneventful for me. i stood there, not really talking to anyone around me, participated in the singing of the birthday song...laughed at the jokes told my the president...then came back to my desk. i didn't socialize, like the rest of the people around the office. i feel a little bad about it, because i feel like i should be making an effort to get to know my coworkers...maybe tomorrow at our thanksgiving celebration, i'll get to know a few people.

btw, they played the "black" birthday song (the stevie wonder version)...makes me love my workplace, because it really is unapologetically black