CONSTRUCTING CONSCIOUSNESS

summer time

2010-04-19T12:08:00.003-05:00

very excited about warm weather...we had a small taste last week...randomly created an outfit on polyvore in honor of the high temps.

i think i want to learn to play violin

2010-04-07T11:36:00.002-05:00

i remember my fav composers when i played oboe also wrote lots of pieces for violin...maybe i'll start to play

if i were a boy

2010-03-06T15:06:00.003-06:00

i would wear these shoes...they're from Clae

chicken fried

2010-02-23T20:31:00.002-06:00

every so often i make an attempt at frying chicken...tonight, as is the norm, i failed. oh well...fried foods aren't good for me anyway...

i like this song...

prayer

2010-02-08T09:27:00.003-06:00

haven't written here in a really long time. i guess i haven't had anything i felt was necessary to write about even though i claimed i was going to "get serious" about the entire blog thing. anywho, i've been feeling the need to talk to someone about this topic, and i discussed it a bit with my line sister, and she was really helpful, but i feel that i would also like to work through it a bit here. this may possibly be my last post at this site. im not sure, but i feel like it may be easier for me to write at a different domain. that will be decided soonly....ok, so, the issue is faith. recently in church, my pastor brought up the idea of prayer. most specifically, he brought up the thought of listening to God rather than simply sending up prayers. God speaks back! From that point on, i decided to make sure to listen, consistently, to what God may or may not be saying. well, a few weeks ago, i prayed about something that I feel very seriously about. God answered. Problem is, he didn't answer in exactly the way that I would have liked. I tried to heed his advice, to not become involved in a certain situation, but my faith was nowhere near as steadfast as it should have been. I continued to pursue something that He didn't want me to do. I tried convincing myself that I had heard wrong. Maybe it was just my mind telling my heart to do something different. Now, I really wish I had listened. Instead, He kind of forced me out of a situation that would have thwarted his plans for me. It ended in me being hurt. Until now, I was even confused about the reason for my pain. I wasn't necessarily hurt by the actions taken towards me. In reality, I'm hurt because I KNEW better...because God TOLD me better. God told me: this is not good for you. in fact, its detrimental to you and your lifestyle and possibly even your health. I still wanted to listen to myself. Now i know what God sounds like, and I know what God wants me to do. I realize that I must walk in faith. I'm actually excited for what He has shown me, which excites me even more because it means that I have grown spiritually.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

backwards as this, shit

2009-10-19T15:17:00.001-05:00

This is that kanye mini movie...i was all with the concept for a little while, and still think i somewhat understand what he was going for...something about his last album spoke to me, i guess because i feel like i understand the emotions he was putting into his music...a friend of mine said once that "it's one thing to like kanye's album, it's another thing entirely to have lived through that sh!t.

btw, the post title is froma haiku from one of my fav writers

disgusted...yet again

2009-09-28T12:02:00.002-05:00

Haven't posted in awhile, but this is something that I felt was important enough to bring me back from my hiatus. This is something that happened in Chicago. An honor student was beaten to death during a "gang" fight. Basically the students were fighting using only fists and wooden planks. This kid got hit while allegedly trying to help another student.

Honestly, watching the video almost made me cry for several reasons

-I thought of how most of what I saw on twitter after the release of this video dealt with mashonda and alicia keys, and this was true of even black people from Chicago...i think that people are just desensitized to violence in this city. I know that since I moved here, I am much less emotionally affected by the violence that plagues this city.

-A lot of the kids just watched the whole scene, and the one who tried to help, ended up dying. this is an obvious reason why so many people just stood by and watched

-the death of this man basically means that several more young black men's lives have ended. they will be thrown into the justice system for what was, in essence, a school fight gone horribly wrong. they were wrong, i'm not denying that they should have to take responsibility...but the justice system is going to turn these kids into hardened criminals..if they ever get out of prison, they will probably be even more of a burden on society because they will not be able to get jobs, and will have learned to lead a criminals life with the real murderers in prison

-chicago is worried about getting the olympics...it would be a great opportunity for those who stand to make money from them, but honestly, the event will not benefit the black people who inhabit the regions of the city that will be directly affected. They will wipe peoples neighborhoods out, and black businesses won't see a large amount of contracts, so the money will not come to our community. Chicago has much more to worry about, ie, the lives of the children, the education system, the poverty, the homelessness...obviously this list could go on forever

-the city decided to step up security at the high school where this occurred...obviously, this is a reactive approach...could nothing have been done prior to this. in a city where a large number of school age children are killed each year, you would think that the city would take a more proactive approach

that said, here's the video of the fight...it's kinda gruesome, so don't watch if you get squeamish

look famous

2009-07-28T11:49:00.002-05:00

found this on this cute little site, Just be spLendid , makes me want to use this as my mantra moving forward...

soon to be in my life...

2009-07-27T16:58:00.003-05:00

This bag will soon be in my life...as inspired by my bestie's all black coach bag that she brought on our trip to Ohio for a wedding this past weekend...I had been thinking about getting something like this, and I just love all the colors...hence, i may be making a purchase in the near future...

BOLD that ish...lol

2009-07-27T12:50:00.002-05:00

Bought everyone in the bar a drink
Swam with wild dolphins
Climbed a mountain
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candlelit bath with someone
Said “I love you” and meant it
Hugged a tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea - from the shore
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was drunk
Had amazing friends
Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
Backpacked in Europe
Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Played touch football
Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites
Taken a martial arts class
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news programs as an “expert”
Got flowers for no reason
Performed on stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded music
Eaten shark
Kissed on the first date
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently/well enough to have a decent conversation
Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children
Followed your favourite band/singer on tour
Started your own wiki
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery (reconstructive surgery counts)
Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 pounds
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Touched a stingray
Broken someone’s heart
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a T.V. game show
Broken a bone
Gone on an African photo safari
Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the newspaper
Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school
Parasailed
Touched a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad
Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Skipped all your school reunions
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head
Caused a car accident
Saved someone’s life

images

2009-07-22T11:34:00.003-05:00

Crutches
by, Nikki Giovanni

it's not the crutches we decry
it's the need to move forward
though we haven't the strength

women aren't allowed to need
so they develop rituals
since we all know working hands idle
the devil
women aren't supposed to be strong
so they develop social smiles
and secret drinking problems
and female lovers whom they never touch
except in dreams

men are supposed to be strong
so they have heart attacks
and develop other women
who don't know their weaknesses
and hide their fears
behind male lovers
whom they religiously touch
each saturday morning on the basketball court
it's considered a sign of health doncha know
that they take such good care
of their bodies

i'm trying to say something about the human condition
maybe i should try again

this piece enbodies a conversation i was having the other day, about images in the lives of men and women. Women especially. the idea that we're supposed to be happy once we've attained certain things, and not happy when we're missing certain others. and we can't show certain feelings without being labeled as one thing or the other. in addition to all this, we must uphold a certain image...so we may put up a certain front, while engaging in certain behaviors privately, or perhaps not so privately, but under false motives. a friend of mine once told me that it is not safe for one person to hold a secret within, and i suppose that is part of the human condition that Nikki is trying to get at here. that people, in order to protect their images, hold in certain things. i haven't yet decided how i feel about that...

disgusted...again

2009-07-09T14:54:00.001-05:00

sp apparently the management at a pool doesn't serve minorities...i've no time to expound upon my feelings about this..just know....some people suck. that is all...enjoy the video.

nowassatall

2009-07-02T17:17:00.000-05:00

funny video...there's a quote in the beginning of her defending herself against another black girl, that sadly reminds me of myself...lol...anyway, i think aisha tyler is fab and i believe she'll be hosting the golden fellowship dinner this year...soooo.... good times!

birthdays

2009-06-11T15:14:00.002-05:00

because of my overabundance of gemini friends, i have been thinking a lot about bithdays lately...people have been doing some really interesting things for their birthdays this summer, and a few of the things i am/have participated in were quiet evenings with friends, jet-skiing, rooftop parties, six flags, and weeklong celebrations...all of this has led me to wonder, what i will do for my 23rd. I'm getting excited, even though i have to wait until October to celebrate...some ideas i've had thus far: vacation w/my girls...probably to nyc or miami..nothing major, a night out dowtown...i think i would get a room at the trump for one night, just for close friends, then go out the next night...a dinner party, which would be kinda neat cuz i like spending time with friends...or maybe something else...either way, i know it's gonna include shopping for a cute new bday dress and a few other items...idk why i'm thinking about this so soon, but oh well...im starting to get excited already

doing better

2009-05-26T14:14:00.001-05:00

i promise to post more often...i'm going to have to think some things over, and look for a good something on here tomorrow...for all ten of my readers.lol. yeah, so in the meantim...tweet me or something... twitter.com.missjess11

it knocks you down

2009-03-24T14:51:00.001-05:00

so, keri hilson...i never really thought of myself as a real fan...like, never purchased a song on itunes or whatever, but her album is out today, and i think i may get it...reason being: i think i like her style...this video is hot, even though i think the song isn't really that hot...maybe too pop-like for me...but yeah...i like her style the entire way through, hence, i feel it's necessary to support her

us placers

2009-03-23T10:47:00.004-05:00

so, i was just over at http://djtimbuck2.com/?p=694 because a) i was trying to support a friend of mine who raps and whatnot and was apparently on the website, and b)i think timbuk2 is pretty dope...anywho, i saw this video for "us placers" which i think is a pretty hot song...not sure why i had never seen this video before, cuz the song has been out for awhile

my thoughts on this one...little lupe is so adorable...lil dude that's playin kanye throws up a perfect mid a few times, even tho it's supposed to be the "roc"...and the kid that's supposed to be parrell has a bit of swagger(i hate that word, but i couldn't find anything else that fits)

disgusted!!!

2009-03-17T11:21:00.002-05:00

how can we allow this as people...we can get all up in arms over domestic violence, with everyone doing special shows because our beloved superstars are having problems, but we can't do something about crap like this???seriously, get it together!!!

why i need these in my life

2009-03-10T11:49:00.004-05:00

i've been eyeing these shoes for about a week now, and i can't figure out why i feel likei need them in my life...the heel is like five inches, which would make me 6'2", and they're kinda gaudy looking, but for some reason, i feel the need to add them to my closet...i feel like i would never wear them, and i would have overall wasted a bit of money...i've been thinking about this for like two weeks...needing to make a decision.

oh yeah, they're harajuku lovers... heels.com

paris...and music

2009-03-03T12:01:00.002-06:00

so, exciting news...im thinking that i will be in paris in may, for a little more than a weekend. im very anxious, and hoping everything works out well...more details to come as thing begin to be finalized...

but for now, im a little upset im going to miss this girls concert...clearly she's super talented

Project Jess: Day 1

2009-02-23T16:50:00.000-06:00

Somewhere along the line, I’ve lost my edge…I think that in the past two years, I’ve gone through a lot…mostly this was stuff that helped me grow, but it also led me to lead a lot of things behind…to be included in this list:my love for reading, my passion for talking to and interacting with people, and my work ethic. I don’t know what the heck happened…it was like one day I was going through novel after novel, hanging out and introducing myself to folks, and working crazy hours while completing all my school work nearly perfectly and on time; and the next day I was spending a countless amount of money on books that “looked’ good, but I would never finish, being too shy to network at events, and procrastinating and turning in less than stellar projects…WHAT THE HECK!!??!?!? Clearly, I need to re-step my game up…project jessica begins!

how come i never heard this song before?

2009-02-23T16:47:00.000-06:00

music on my mind

2009-02-20T15:00:00.002-06:00

in life's news: owtness tonight...should be pretty interesting, considerigng the party im going to...hopefully the storm won't be too bad, so i can make my flight in the morning...working on being more productive at work, as in, creating my own projects to manage

because i like kanye...no matter what people say

2009-02-18T13:11:00.000-06:00

KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

just another manic monday

2009-02-09T16:21:00.004-06:00

really, this morning started out quite interestingly...i actually thought i was dying..having some random health issues. i know it's weird, but once i forgot about that, I actually thought today would be a pretty good day. It was super nice outside when i walked the pup, so i figured it would only get better.

anywho, it seems like people wanted to make my day more and more negative, but i've decided that im not going to let things bring me down. sidenote: please pray for my cousin and her baby...

ok. so, today i decided was going to be the day that i really take control of certain things in my life. i bought some notebooks to help me to keep track of my goals. i have a lot of them, and now that i don't really hav a sig. other that i talk to about these things, it's kind of hard for me to keep track. I got one notebook for work stuff, and one for money, career(including school), and life in general...my plan is to write out my goals and plans for accomplishing them, then following up with writing about my progress in each area...im kinda excited about this project.

superbowl weekend...good times

2009-02-04T20:58:00.006-06:00

im clearly late posting this, BUT, i had the best superbowl weekend....friday night was the foreign exchange concert, so, to start the night, we went to an event that my ships had downtown at the bowling alley...i couldn't drink, since it was a delta event, but i had fun nonetheless...good times!!!

driving to the north side was interesting...we found a parking spot right next to the club...but we had a problem...The park was across the street (read:facing the opposite direction) from where my car was. So, my old roomie jumps out of the car, and goes to stand in the spot...now, usually i call her bougie, but, she was a complete and total G in this situation. This guy nearly ran her over trying to park, and she yelled at him, telling him that I was GOING to park there and that he needed to move. One word. HILARIOUS.

Concert was awesome...Black People...I haven't seen so many of us in a room listening to GOOD music in so long. the dj was great. i had fun.

Saturday...chill day...my ship had a launch party for the black magazine that she edits for her school. i was so proud of her.

superbowl sunday...i was kinda worried about how this was gonna turn out. i had a few places to stop by, but i didn't really want to go to any of them. anywho, i skipped two places and went over to my ships...i knew it would be mostly girls, which meant it would be different from any superbowl experience i had in awhile...i had a freakin blast!!! i brought bacardi mojitos and white wine...because that's what i felt like was necessary... i got toasted and really really enjoyed the game. plus, i got to wear a shirt i had bought and never got a chance to wear...notice the pic...btw, dude was highly disturbed when he got to the house and there were only women...

...then, we stopped by the bday party of a friend of mine around the corner...then came back and enjoyed a few hands of spades...im tellin you....great weekend!!!

tonight's the night

2009-01-30T11:00:00.001-06:00

so, me and one of my old roomies have been looking forward to this concert for quite sometime now. its THE FOREIGN ECHANGE, and i think they're amazing...enjoy the music!

well...

2009-01-28T17:11:00.000-06:00

Lions, Tigers & Bears - Jazmine Sullivan

yall can't mess with the police...or maybe...

2009-01-28T10:39:00.002-06:00

I have no clue who dude is, but my ship sent me this video, and it gave me a little chuckle before work... CPD really is a trip, even though these were apparently cops fromt he suburbs... apparently there was a 14 y.o. kid who was able to impersonate a cop ...like he got a car and everything.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

sidenote: i've reallized that i am getting too lazy, because i wanted to gchat my boss to ask him if he needed anything done, rather than walk the 30 feet to his office. i have got to start working out or something!

because i love my prophtyes

2009-01-08T15:30:00.003-06:00

i had been thinking about all these things this week, especially the orgasmic births...i wonder if i would be able to take that nontraditional step and go through a midwife...

the oakland thing was so sad...im really glad that people decided to protest. i feel like too often things go unspoken, and it ends without any controversy.

burris...well, im just going to say that im disappointed in my state right now.

because i would be dope if i could play guitar...

2009-01-07T15:13:00.003-06:00

this is my most recent discovery...this girl is pretty talented i think...a (friend?) once told me i should learn. i was upset at the moment, but i've been considering it...besides, i need something to do when i'm not at work besides reading and being owt...enjoy the song!

alvin ailey

2009-01-06T12:37:00.002-06:00

ok. so i love modern dance...probably more than most people. i've taken a few classes, and honestly, im hooked on the way it makes me feel. it made me way more aware of the way that my body moves. it made me more flexible, and it was a serious workout. i also love to watch modern. to see the way that people move onstage is amazing. there are so many details that these dancers are attentive to, and i personally think it's amazing. that said, im trying to go see alvin ailey when they come to chicago in early april..i think i may make this a self date because i don't know that I know anyone who would really enjoy it...maybe i need some new friends...im so excited for April!!!

miss jess...a-z

2009-01-05T11:58:00.002-06:00

A - AVAILABLE: for appearances with advanced notice
B - BIRTHDAY: October 3rd, 1986...definitely feeling like an adult nowadays
C - CRUSHING: wait, who wants to know??? cuz that makes a difference...don't want to fall off my pimp or die. lol
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: green tea with honey from my dst mug...my morning drink of choice
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: my mommy, maybe some of my ships, my besties (we clearly could've been born from the same womb)
F - FAVORITE BANDS: errr...ummm. i cant choose...i like acoustic....i like hip hop...lets go with corrinne, lupe, kweli...idk.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Gummy Worms
H - HOMETOWN: belleville!!! yes i put on for my city...even if you think i live on a farm
I - INSTRUMENT(s): oboe...random i know. and xylophone/other random percussion-ish things
J - JUGGLE: i tried to learn like two weeks ago...didn't work out
K - KILLED SOMEONE: ewwww..no.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: to DC, a few times w/my family...or maybe to orlando..maybe i should google map the distances
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: vanilla, with a cherry
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2, my lil brother rich...a big sister, malita(we're getting closer as time goes forward)
O - ONE WISH?: to find a way to make everyone happy
L - LAST PERSON WHO TEXTED YOU: bw (only cuz i like initials)
Q- QUIET?: i think so, people never really believe me tho
R - REASON TO SMILE: cuz i like to smile...do i need a reason?
S- SONG YOU LAST HEARD: mestizo eyes-Yesterday's New Quintet...just the current song on my lastfm station
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 8:30, cuz i dont like gettign up too early...it would really mess up my flow
U- UNDERWEAR YOU'RE WEARING?: vicky's PINK...even tho they aren't pink..oh wait...yes they are
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: not a fan of baby corn at all!!!i think it's really weird how small it is...i don't like it. not one bit!!! it's kinda creepy to me.
W - WORST HABIT: not making time for myself...staying so busy that i can't just do me
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: i think i had a chest x-ray once int he 8th grade...i had pneumonia...then i got on this medicine that gave me a lot of energy...i couldn't go to school so i was going around the house cleaning everything up, and ironing everyone's clothes...it was weird
Y - YOUR FRIEND THAT SHOWED YOU THIS: picked it up from my buddy brandon
Z- ZODIAC SIGN: libra

i got a new baby

2008-12-29T17:09:00.002-06:00

so, i got a new toy the other day...a christmas git really, from my mother...my digital cameras always die when i buy them, so i figure this one from her, ill try to keep alive for awhile... anywho, my mom bought a camera from this camera store she loves (she says she goes there because you get 100 free prints, even though nobody has ever actually gone in to redeem these prints). after snapping a couple pics on christmas, i decided that i didn't really like the pentax, so we went to the store to exchange...after about fifteen minutes of the girl trying to say that there woudl be no difference with another camera (i was upset that the auto flash wouldn't work in low light, thus causing my pictures to be fuzzy and a little dark), we found a camera (see pic above) that i decided would work. that said, im super excited to snap pics. i already took a couple of the daisies i brought home for my mom from whole foods(they were a peace offering, sort of a way to appease her since i didn't get home till late on christmas eve night). im excited about my babes...i think ill name her betsey...i dont know why i feel the need to start naming my objects...maybe its that maternal need for a child thing kicking in...scary...

maybe i've been partying too much

2008-12-29T15:52:00.002-06:00

P!nk "Sober" Music Video

happy merry christmas eve!

2008-12-24T10:24:00.005-06:00

so, because i'm at work, and have nothing better to do...furthermore, because no one else is at work, because apparently they all have something else to do...i am going to do a post. this is my first chrismas eve away from home, and honestly, im not very happy about it. i wanted to be at my parents house sleeping in, and enjoying playing with all those darn dogs, and talking to my family, and hanging out with my friends...i miss my girls so much...we had a blast when they came up to visit. people have been calling me all week, trying to figure out where i'm at, so we can hang out...i've become almost robotic in answering :im still in chicago. i have work. ill be there wednesday.bye. i don't even want to talk about it.

there's the cutest little girl in the office, wishing everyone a "happy christmas". it makes me miss being at home and being around kids. they make everyone so much happier...overall, i guess im just feeling a bit nostalgic today, so on that note:

me and my little brother...takes me back to a simpler time

resolved

2008-12-20T14:48:00.003-06:00

so, i've been thinking a lot about the things that i want to accomplish in the new year. these have to do with the things i want to learn, goals i want to accomplish,and the person i want to become...i've never really been a big new years resolution person, so i don't know if i would call this that...i think of it more as a list of things i want to pursue

learn how to network more effectively, which is going to require that i let go of my shyness

end relationships with people who aren't furthering my growth. i've noticed that i have a lot of negative people around me, and i don't like it at all

start living a more healthy lifestyle...sure i look healthy, but in actuality, i don't eat well or exercise nearly enough

take dance classes...i used to really enjoy modern when i took it, but for some reason i've fallen off.

become more active in delta. i think had i still been in undergrad it would've been much easier. alumnae chapter is so big, it's easy to get lost in all the people

do more service...i used to be so active in community service, and now i've let that go. i think i figured that delta would provide me with enough opportunities to do service, but im seeing that isn't really true

expand my social contacts. i have my group of friends, and im content with the people that i hang out with. i wonder what would happen if i opened that up a bit

travel. im planning trips to houston, new york, and possibly dc for this year...london for next year...wish i had more time off so i could do more

that's all i got for now...there are a few more things,but maybe ill get to those later

thursday

2008-12-18T16:43:00.002-06:00

recently, i've been finding random corrine bailey ray songs that i really like, but hadn't ever heard. This odd because i consider myself a serious fan of her music...most recent fav song

anywho, i stood myself up for my self date the other night...i was supposed to go to the oriental institute, but there was way too much snow. sometimes i wonder why i live here. i know i can't figure out why people ever settled in this cuty...it's way too cold...and it snows way too much. but whatevs, maybe saturday it'll work out better, and i'll find somewhere else to go.

hump day thoughts

2008-12-10T11:14:00.003-06:00

nothing really to share today.
-working on new year's eve plans...since when did my life become all about partying? i miss nye with the fam, and i wish i could go down there for that holiday
-our next door neighbor knows way too much about our schedules and whether we are home or not...this makes me really nervous. he knocked on the door this morning because the garage door was open, and wouldn't stop knocking until someone answered (our assumption is that he knew someone was still home)
-movie night with the roomies tonight with the bootleg dvd that one of the janitors from work gave me. i'm going to miss them when i leave
-got to work early today with hopes of leaving early. we'll see if that works out.
-my best friends are coming into town this weekend. im excited to see them, but a little worried about how it'll be because we haven't all hung out together in a long time.i'm not sure how the group dynamics will play out.

smash into you

2008-12-08T15:54:00.002-06:00

of course my day would never be complete without a bit of youtube-ing...so, i found this cover of one of the songs from "i am". i randomly appreciate acoustic music.

btw,

i think one of the janitors is trying to get me to do his plumbing school homework...it was like, one minute he was offering to do a complimentary vacuuming of my area (sidenote:it's not complimentary, you are getting paid!). the next minute he's asking if i can google some stuff about bathtubs. i said sure, if i have time, but clearly, after all the time i waste aimlessly browsing the internet, i really have no time for doing his homework. i really can't believe he would ask me such a thing. i dont know him like that

in other news,

i think i'm catching a cold, so i'm drinking lots of tea, and going to bed as soon as i get home. glad i didn't set my self-date for tonight

fridays news

2008-12-05T15:23:00.002-06:00

i think i've found an apartment. i can't wait til i can move in. i miss my puppy so much. he'll finally be able to come up an live with me. it's close to the lake, which is nice, but it means bitter cold and little parking...you would think that once the temperature got to a certain point, the amount of cold wouldn't matter, but you would be wrong...the lake effect is serious. anyway, im excited to move in, and probably will do so by the week before christmas...im pushing for living room furniture as a gift from my parents...hopefully everything will work out

btw, two more people introduced themselves to me today, one person asked me where the chief of staff was, as if i were his secretary, then asked me for advice with her phone, and never introduced herself to me, two random security gaurds were rude to me (we're having a job fair and they hired some random people to make sure everything went smoothly). i feel like if you are here, looking for a part time job with the cta, the last thing you need is someone being rude to you...but hey, maybe that's just my opinion. one janitor gave me some cajun rice (super tasty), and one girl told me i look "good" in green, aftermaking a random comment about my crimson and cream deask decor...i still have no clue what her name is...but i appreciate the sisterly jokes.

and now...back to work

date night

2008-12-04T16:30:00.002-06:00

so, i've decided to begin taking myself on weekly "dates" just to get out of the house and have some alone time...next week, im participating in the u of c alumni book club, so tonights day will be to go pick up the book from the library, and find a cafe somewhere to sit and get some reading done...haven't decided where yet though

its official

2008-12-03T10:48:00.003-06:00

so, yesterday was my official welcoming at the office. they sent out an email to the entire staff letting them know that yes, she has arrived. it had a little blurb abotut me that was based off of my resume.while i was reading it, i couldn't help but think that this blurb actually said little about me...but whatever.

since the e-mail went out, people have been treating me a little different. people started introducing themselves to me...even though i've been here since july, and very few people found that necessary prior to yesterday. one lady introduced herself to me today in the bathroom, even though she works on my floor, and i see her at least once a day. one guy won't quit calling me rookie, and asking me to do things for him (low key, i feel like im being hazed by him). several other people have decided that they must now start treating me with a little more respect. it's all really interesting, because my qualifications haven't changed, and i've been in the office everyday for about a month, and before that i was here often enough for people to decide to treat me well. i guess its just human nature.

recession

2008-12-01T14:11:00.000-06:00

It's official: Recession since Dec. '07
The National Bureau of Economic Research declares what most Americans already knew: the downturn has been going on for some time.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday that the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007, making official what most Americans have already believed about the state of the economy .

The NBER is a private group of leading economists charged with dating the start and end of economic downturns. It typically takes a long time after the start of a recession to declare its start because of the need to look at final readings of various economic measures.

The NBER said that the deterioration in the labor market throughout 2008 was one key reason why it decided to state that the recession began last year.

Employers have trimmed payrolls by 1.2 million jobs in the first 10 months of this year. On Friday, economists are predicting the government will report a loss of another 325,000 jobs for November.

The NBER also looks at real personal income, industrial production as well as wholesale and retail sales. All those measures reached a peak between November 2007 and June 2008, the NBER said.

In addition, the NBER also considers the gross domestic product, which is the reading most typically associated with a recession in the general public.

Many people erroneously believe that a recession is defined by two consecutive quarters of economic activity declining. That has yet to take place during this recession.

This downturn longer than most
The NBER did not give any reasons or causes of the recession. But it is widely accepted that the housing downturn, which started in 2006, is a primary cause of the broader economic malaise.

The fall of housing prices from peak levels reached earlier this decade cut deeply into home building and home purchases. This also caused a sharp rise in mortgage foreclosures, which in turn resulted in losses of hundreds of billions of dollars among the nation's leading banks and a tightening of credit.

The current recession is one of the longest downturns since the Great Depression of the 1930's.

The last two recessions (1990-1991 and 2001) lasted eight months each, and only two of the 10 previous post-Depression downturns lasted as long as a full year, according to the NBER.

In a statement, White House Deputy Press Secretary Tony Fratto said that even though the recession is now official, it is more important to focus on the steps being taken to fix the economy.

"The most important things we can do for the economy right now are to return the financial and credit markets to normal, and to continue to make progress in housing, and that's where we'll continue to focus," he said. "Addressing these areas will do the most right now to return the economy to growth and job creation."

President-elect Obama's transition team did not have an immediate comment on the recession announcement. But other top Democrats said this is further proof of the need for another economic stimulus package, which Obama has advocated.

"With rising costs of living, rising unemployment, record foreclosures and depleted savings, we must do more to help families make ends meet," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in a statement. "With the cooperation of our Republican colleagues, we intend to send a plan to the White House as soon as possible following President-elect Obama's inauguration next month."

How long will it go?
Nonetheless, several economists said the real concern is that there is no end in sight for the downturn.

Some suggested that the best case scenario for the economy is that it would reach bottom in the second quarter of 2009. And even if that happens, that would still make this recession the longest since the Great Depression.

Rich Yamarone, director of economic research at Argus Research, said the only good news for the economy is that some of the steps already taken by the government earlier this year could start to spur growth soon. For example, he said interest rate cuts by the Federal Reserve, which started in September 2007, "should be working their magic any day now."

In February, Congress passed a $170 billion tax rebate meant to stimulate the economy. But that only boosted GDP during the second quarter.

The financial market and credit crisis worsened during this summer, prompting Congress, the Treasury Department and the Fed to pump trillions of dollars into the economy through a variety of programs, including a $700 billion bailout of banks and Wall Street firms and hundreds of billions of lending by the Fed to major companies and lenders.

But Lakshman Achuthan, managing director of Economic Cycle Research Institute, said that at this point, the only solution for the recession is time.

"All the hand waving and real cash that policymakers are throwing at the problem won't change the fact we're stuck in this nasty recession," he said. "The ultimate cure of a recession is letting it run its course."

Achuthan's research firm tracks weekly leading economic indicators that are supposed to signal a change in direction for the economy four or five months ahead of time. Those indicators are continuing to fall at a record pace.

Still, he said he's not worried about the current recession turning into a depression, as many Americans fear.

"Even with indicators in a tailspin, this still is only a very severe recession," he said. "There's lots of gloom, but we don't see doom."

First Published: December 1, 2008: 12:26 PM ET

monday work stuff

2008-12-01T11:53:00.002-06:00

so, the illinois senate passed a bill a few weeks ago that would raise the legal age at which a perosn can be tried as an adult for a misdemeanor from 17 to 18...makes sense to me...you can't vote, smoke, or even get a tattoo until you're 18. clearly these laws are based onthe idea that you can't make a rational and reasonable decision until that age...anyway, i'm working on an article for the job about the issue, clearly Rod B. needs to sign this bill into law...illinois senate bill 2275 if you're interested. anyway, in my research, i found an interesting video concerning the effects of raising the juvenile age in drug offenses, and it's effects on youth. it also highlights a pretty neat program called youthbuild.

i am my mother's daughter

2008-11-24T14:49:00.002-06:00

today was the president's secretary's birthday. in celebration, my coworkers did a surprise birthday thing for her. it's actually going on right now, but clearly, instead of socializing, i'm sitting at my desk, writing a blog post. why? because i am my mother's daughter. my mother is the essence of anti-social behavior. she doesn't like small talk, nor is she overly friendly with strangers. somehow this has rubbed off onto me. it leaves me being awkward and really shy. the awkwardness is something that i've learned to own over the past couple of years. people from my alma mater are proud of their awkward cahracter, and embrace it as a key personality trait. the shy part is a hard one. most people don't know and don't believe that i am shy. when i say i am, people laugh...there's an awkward pause...then they ask me if i'm serious. yess, i am. i don't know where it comes from, but i have a difficult time talking to strangers and people who i don't know well. this made the birthday celebration quite uneventful for me. i stood there, not really talking to anyone around me, participated in the singing of the birthday song...laughed at the jokes told my the president...then came back to my desk. i didn't socialize, like the rest of the people around the office. i feel a little bad about it, because i feel like i should be making an effort to get to know my coworkers...maybe tomorrow at our thanksgiving celebration, i'll get to know a few people.

btw, they played the "black" birthday song (the stevie wonder version)...makes me love my workplace, because it really is unapologetically black

all i really want is a cup of tea and a good book.

2008-11-23T18:07:00.002-06:00

yet another weekend has gone by, way too quickly. i enjoyed it, but somehow missed out on the main goal of a weekend, relaxation. i went out every night, and had tons of fun...thursday we went to an event at this restaurant in the south loop...attire: jeans and a tee. loved hanging out with my roomie and my bff...crazy because there was this random photographer guy, who kept wanting us to do the impromptu "photo shoots", so that we could buy these mediocre photos from him. lindsey bought one...i didn't. now im a little worried that i may be on some website somewhere...

friday, my chapter had a talent show and a party. it was interesting. i got to see my pledge mom. i realized how much i enjoy hanging out with my line sisters(in moderation.lol) i miss them. from that night...

they know i love taking pictures...one of these days i'm gonna change my pose.lol.

with my "quad". she works way to much nowadays, so we never hang out, but this was cool.

last night was so much fun...went out with lindsey and D. we did a house party then a club. it was cool because everything was free, and it was exciting. did a new look, but i don't have any pictures of the outfit. i liked it a lot, then my necklace broke...darn forever 21! anywho, i got one pic from somebody's camera phone with my ship phai.

today, after recuperating, i did some reading for work...pretty soon, i will know a ridiculous amount about teacher residency programs and their ability to improve school quality. tonight, dinner with the pledge family, then going to see the james bond movie.

out of this entire weekend, i realize that i never got to sit and enjoy a cup of tea...i feel like this is a necessity for every weekend...oh well, maybe next week

tgif

2008-11-21T13:26:00.004-06:00

so, my ship sends me these e-mails all the time talking about her experiences at work. i used to work in the same office with her, so i usually know to whom she's referring when she talks about the lady who pees on the bathroom floor when she's mad, or the guy with the random stalker, as well as the random 47th street occurrences. These could include anything from a police chase, a naked hype, or random bums "campaigning" for Obama. BTW, my most recent 47th street experience involves me going into a harolds, noting that it smelled NOTHING like chicken, and seeing a roach crawling on the menu before I quickly walked out of the door, disgusted, and feeling a little dirtier than when i went in.
Anywho, because my ship is out of town, and therefore cannot send me an amusing e-mail, I am going to do a special TGIF post for her.

Monday the HR lady called me to be sure that she had my correct extension because she was going to update the staff directory, which basically meant adding my name, since I'm the most recent hire. Tuesday, she sent out the newly updated directory. Wednesday she e-mailed me saying I would be moved to a new office by Friday. Thursday three or four different people came up to let me know I was going to be moved and to make sure that I wouldn't be confused when I came in today. Today, I came in to see my old desk exactly as it was. A secretary talked to the maintenance people, who came up ten minutes later. They said, I wasn't being moved to an office, just to a different desk. They proceeded to pick up my desk, and move it, replacing it with a new desk. Leaving my computer in the same spot. The secretary informed them that they needed to switch the desks back, and that they only were supposed to move my stuff to the new desk. (My job operates on this gentleman/lady system. women have to let the men do everything basically. I think it's a southern thing) Anywho, they do all this work, then my computer is still in my old spot. I call IT, and send them an e-mail asking them to come move my computer.Apparently they couldn't do that without me filling out some random form, so I emailed this guy who works in IT, asked him to come up, and he did...no forms or anything...now, i have more space, a new desk, a key that works, and i even got him to switch out my keyboard to a new ergonomic one. Now, my phone extension is different. The IT guy didn't know whether or not switching the actual phone would make a difference, so I now have a completely different extension, so I have to email the HR lady and ask her to redo the staff directory with my new extension...now i realize why people get annoyed with bureaucracy, because honestly, i would rather should send out an email and say change my extension to....it's not like half these people know who i am, and at least another fourth of them have no interest in contacting me at all. whatever. thank god its friday at least

also, i had la cantina for lunch..this tilapia dish. it was amazing...and now i think i have the itis.

scared of lonely

2008-11-21T11:29:00.002-06:00

so, for the past few days, i've been listening to a lot of beyonce, as has the rest of the free world...but this song...wow.

maybe because i can understand where she's coming from on this one, i just can't seem to stop playing it.

cool kids...the delivery man

2008-11-20T13:11:00.002-06:00

OK. So I finished exactly one task. Then I read an e-mail from my ship, who clearly isn't focused cause she's leaving for sunny fun in atlanta in a few hours. then, i did my usual music finding,and decided that i kinda like this cool kids song...now, i'm going to get back to work...i promise.

todays randomness

2008-11-20T11:18:00.004-06:00

i woke up today wondering what the day would bring. my thoughts thus far...i haven't finished my to-do list,that i need to complete...i haven't called my father yet to wish him happy birthday...my mom called and asked me to basically do a small report for her,as if i'm not at work...i think i found an apartment, and i hope the guy will hold it for me till mid-december...im really tired, even though i went to bed early...i had an interesting prayer this morning...the daily news clips that my job sends out over the listhost were extremely depressing...im ready to see my family, so im excited for thanksgiving...i want to go to the inauguration, so i need to talk to my aunt about staying at her house...im looking forward to the weekend, and thus am starting my weekend tonight.

my mind right now

2008-11-19T12:06:00.003-06:00

i want to go see ruined at the goodman
i need to find an apartment quickly because i miss my puppy.
i enjoyed a conversation this morning about the benefits and drawbacks of mixed income housing in chicago.
it made me realize how much i miss having intelligent conversations with inquisitive people about things that really matter.
i am about to take more responsibility on at work, because i can.
i really really want some harold's...is this ok, now that obama says he eats it?
my robin thicke pandora station is really amazing me right now.
i still cannot quite figure out dress code in my office...why are people wearing jeans?
i enjoyed real houswives of atlanta last night.
i really want these pumps that beyonce was wearing, that i then saw on real housewives of atlanta last night.
i will probably post something with a little more substance later today.
i need to get some work done right now.

annoyed a bit

2008-11-18T12:49:00.003-06:00

so. i work. i'm actually a professional. i have a degree...in economics....from the university of chicago. usually, i'm not one to be uppity, or think im elite in any way, but...what does a black woman need to do in order for people to take her seriously...honestly, some black men need to get it together.

a. no, i do not appreciate the lewd comments..."ooh, girl, you look so sexy today" is NOT a compliment. if you think i look nice, and you say that, i will not be upset, as long as you are respectful

b. just because you are a black man with a degree/job/car/401K, does not mean that i will automatically be interested in you. i have a degree/job/car/401K. I do not need yours. Thank you.

c. if i tell you that i would rather not talk to you, please let it go. do not try to convince me that it's a good idea for us to hang out after i've said no. it's not a good look.

d. i am a lady. realize and remember that always.

this really was not meant to be a male bashing post. i love black men. hey, my dad and my brother are both great black men. seriously though, as a woman, i need for some to just do better.

heartless huh?

2008-11-17T12:34:00.001-06:00

Heartless from kwest on Vimeo.

maybe...
women seem to naturally be the more sensitive and caring of the two sexes, so what would make a woman change into what kanye is saying here...im just sayin...

lupe

2008-11-14T12:12:00.000-06:00

fall

2008-11-06T15:13:00.001-06:00

fall is here chicago. embrace it.

chi town excitement

2008-11-04T10:28:00.002-06:00

it's like there's something different in the air today. people are smiling...my people are happy to have this chance. at every single one of my morning stops before work, people were talking about the election. proud to vote, maybe even for the first time...even the random bums outside mcdonalds on 47th and cottage were shouting obama 08. complete change from the usual excitement of that corner.

at work, people are quietly working, but it's obvious that everyone is anxious, scared to proclaim that we will have a black president tomorrow, whose favorite pizza, by the way, is Italian Fiesta :) they showed him voting this morning in my old neighborhood, and i thought of the significance of this thing, this revolution, that has been happening. we have seen a black man, a black family, with a strong husband, wife, and gorgeous children, showcased all over the media. what a change from the usual...outside of the statistics...wow.

i'm not sure what i'm going to do tonight for the results. theres a big rally downtown, but i want to avoid the crowds. my sorority is doing a party, but i want to be with my other friends. i can't decide if it would be better to go out, and start celebrating, or stay home and stay calm. if he doesn't win, i'm not only afraid of what will happen to the country as a whole, but what will be the attitude of my people. i don't want people to get discouraged, because if he doesn't win, we'll have an even bigger reason to get, and stay involved.

reflections

2008-10-01T12:09:00.002-05:00

it's almost another year, and i wonder how to express how i'm feeling today. this is definitely not where i thought i'd be, and perhaps that is my fault...but in all honesty, i think the blame lies on my inability to control what goes on around me, and the desir to please everyone...i'm entering 22, and i think part of the problem is that over the past few years, i dropped any formal goals that i had already set for myself. i didn't know where i wanted to be right now in terms of my career, education, or love, i only knew that i wanted to be alive...and happy. clearly, im here, but my happiness is definitely questionable.i think it's more of a facade than anything else. over the past year, i lost someone in the worst possible way...pushing him further and further away, until he couldn't take it anymore, because i thought it would make me happy, or at least less miserable.i don't know if this situation is better or worse.i just couldn't livemy life by defining myself on the terms of someone else.i had to learn to be me, and see if i could do anything on my own..i worked hard at trying to please my father, ending up without a clear focus in terms of what i'm doing each day.ultimately, he decided not to care anymore, because im not living his way. he has decided not to deal with me. certain situations in my life have led me to having certain feelings about my worth. when important people seemed to only value certain things about me, i started to value only those things as well...im trying to get away from that. in the past year, i joined an organization, which changed the way people perceived me. this is not fair, because ultimately they mistake my own flaws for those of my organization, or as a result of me joining that organization. my true qualities,interests, and loves they ignore, because all that matters to most anymore is the surface. it's almost like i've worked so hard all my life to become jessica, and now, im not even that anymore.but now i'm starting to realize that really, what matters is that i am becoming me, living without restraints put on me by everyone else.in reflection i feel like my past year was one of tremendous growth. i had some serious struggles, both internally, and externally. i made very big mistakes, and had some successes. this was a year of decisions and disappointments. i think that my 21st year is one that i will never forget, because it changed me so much, and broke so many of my connections and old habits that held me back for so long

remember...

2008-09-16T10:44:00.002-05:00

lipstick on a pig

2008-09-10T16:57:00.001-05:00

haiku

2008-09-10T16:31:00.002-05:00

fall comes too swiftly
tears fall for a seasons end
who will love me now

boycott

2008-09-04T12:32:00.002-05:00

Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Boycott goes from threat to reality
by Wendell Hutson

The threat of a Chicago Public Schools boycott became a reality Tuesday when nearly 1,000 Chicago students showed up on the campus of New Trier High School in north suburban Northfield to register for classes.

Linda Yonke, superintendent for the District 203 school, said 800 elementary and 150 high school CPS students were registered.

It's unlikely, though, that any CPS students will be allowed to attend the north shore school due to a state law, said New Trier School District President James Koch.

“According to state law, if you do not live in a school's district, you are not eligible to attend,” he said.

However, state law does allow students living outside New Trier's district to attend if their parents are willing to pay the $17,000 annual tuition, according to Koch.

“We have had students in the past pay tuition to attend New Trier, but we currently do not have any now,” Koch added.

There are 4,000 students at New Trier, and while 12 percent are minorities, only 1 percent is Black, according to Yonke.

“We are here today to send a message to the governor that he needs to keep his promise and better fund public schools,” said state Sen. James Meeks, D-15th, who organized the boycott. “A child's education should not be based on where they live. This method of school funding is nothing more than a system of apartheid.”

He called on Gov. Rod Blagojevich to make good on a 2006 campaign promise to invest $10 billion in education.

Gov. Blagojevich did not return calls by Defender press time.

Meeks, who is also pastor of Salem Baptist Church, said that 70 percent of school funding comes from property taxes. As a result, he said, CPS spends $10,000 per student while New Trier spends $17,000 per student.

Many parents accompanied their children to New Trier via yellow school buses provided by boycott organizers.

Shannon Lewis, 41, whose daughter is a senior at Wendell Phillips High School on the South Side, was one of those parents.

Boycott supporters included a host of clergymen, community and education activists, and concerned residents like Sharon Pough, 47.

Pough does not have any children in CPS but drove to New Trier anyway.

“It's important for the kids to see that adults care and that there are possibilities beyond their reach,” she said.

The students who skipped school in the city Tuesday had little impact on attendance. The official first day of school attendance won't be confirmed until later this week but Arne Duncan, CEO of Chicago Public Schools, estimated first day attendance at around 99.7 percent.

“Attendance was very strong. Parents wanted their kids in school,” Duncan said. “I never thought a boycott was a way to address this issue (of school funding).”

Last school year, first day attendance at CPS was 92.8 percent, according to Michael Vaughn, press secretary for CPS.

Boycott organizers said students would begin holding classes Wednesday at various downtown office building lobbies. They include the Daley Center, 50 W. Washington St.; Cook County Building, City Hall, 121 N. LaSalle St.; Aon Center, 200 E. Randolph St.; Chicago Board of Trade, 141 W. Washington St.; and J.P. Morgan Chase, 150. Michigan Ave.

Meeks said William Daley, Midwest regional director, private wealth group for J.P. Morgan Chase, looks forward to students coming to the Chase building.

“He (William Daley) said he would make bankers available to teach students about financial responsibilities,” Meeks said at a news conference outside his church, 752 E. 114th St.

Daley is the older brother of Mayor Richard M. Daley and reportedly is considering a run for governor in 2010.

Wendell Hutson can be reached via e-mail at whutson@chicagodefender.com.

______

Copyright 2008 Chicago Defender. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

My view on the boycott: Good idea. Someone had to do something. In the past few weeks,I've been thinking very seriously about this issue. My mother works in education, and over the years, I have seen her struggle to get the basics, like textbooks, in the schools that she has taught in. One year, she went so far as to ask for textbooks from my the school I was attending that they were throwing out for one of the other teachers in her building. I realize that when students don't attend school, the district loses money; however, something must be done in these situations to call attention to a problem that is very real. Some people argue that schools districts receive enough money, but it is misused. If this is the case, then someone needs to be hired, to come in and appropriate the money efficiently. In any case, the ultimate effects of the entire issue lie on the students. I feel that they should be able to boycott if they wish. The consumers of any other service are able to take their business elsewhere if they do not receive quality service. Students must suffer through insufficient educational systems regardless of the quality of the educational system in their district. So I say...congratulations Senator Meeks...btw, I think he got a meeting with the Governor to speak about the funding issue.

packing

2008-08-25T12:08:00.000-05:00

i hate packing!!!

feeling like...

2008-08-24T23:35:00.001-05:00

Eternal Optimist

2008-08-22T13:33:00.002-05:00

And I have decided that in order to live, I must release all negativities from my life. My survival depends on my eternal optimism. I am now making promises to myself, knowing that certain prophecies shall be fulfilled, and claiming all that I want and need. Without a doubt, hard work must back up this renewed optimism. i am learning to be who I was once more...love.

hometown identity crisis

2008-08-08T12:39:00.002-05:00

i'm headed back to my homtown today, and i always have mixed feelings about going back...i love my family, but i don't really like it there...all the thoughts that popped up in my head about going back, made me think about how i really have a sort of identity crisis about my hometown...what do i mean? well, here's a typical conversation about where i'm from:
Person: Where are you from?
Me: Southern Illinois.
Person: Oh, like Urbana? or like Carbondale?
Me: Neither...well, I'm from Belleville, which is like a suburb of STL

Person: But it's in Illinois?
Me: Yeah
Person: Oh, so like E St. Louis?
Me: Well, kinda...i guess. That's where my family is from
Person: Oh, yeah, I know some people from there too. They went to East Side
Me: Well, I'm really not from there...I lived in Belleville

Then, I spend the rest of the conversation trying to explain my hometown, and why it's not completely lame...frustration

travel

2008-08-07T11:26:00.003-05:00

people always ask if I could go anywhere in the world, where would i go...top 3: Greece, London, and Southern Egypt/Sudan...reasoning...Greece is beautiful...London seems exciting and would keep up with the way I like to live...Southern Egypt/Sudan holds so much history for anyone with African ancestry...imagine being in the same place as the ancient nubian and kush empires. Strong blacks, before they had the misfortune of being overcome by outsiders. I think it would be amazing...as a matter of fact, i think i'm going to plan a trip to the museum very soon to pretend like im there

hurt

2008-07-31T10:43:00.003-05:00

truth....drop a T and look at it in reverse
-lupe.this is real